Every time we say Yes to something, we make it easier to say Yes the next time.

Image: Family Group near a Harpsichord (detail), Cornelis Troost, 1739, Rijksmuseum. Used with permission.

Yes, and...

A good friend has that phrase,Yes, and, tattooed on his inner wrist where he can see it. It's a reminder of how to approach life. It’s like the opposite of "Yeah, but..."

For a habitual overeater, though, it’s a good reminder about choice. Yes is never a simple Yes. Yes is always Yes to this, AND its consequences.

If I say Yes to chocolate cake for breakfast (a choice I have made on several occasions not limited to the day after my birthday), I am saying Yes to cake, AND probably Yes to a desire for more cake at lunch. Maybe I will say No to cake at lunch, but mostly I'd rather not have the discussion at all.

I know I am also saying Yes to the temptation to say “screw it, I’m just gonna skip the salad and go straight to the cake” at lunch. Then I would be saying Yes to feeling sick, AND Yes to not wanting to work out or even take my walk.

Maybe I'd be saying Yes to skipping dinner because I never want to eat again ever AND thus Yes to feeling like a slug the next day AND Yes to making it that much easier to say Yes to cake! for breakfast. Again. 

And if it’s the 8th time this month I’m saying Yes to cake for breakfast, I’m DEFINITELY saying Yes to extra weight.

And if it’s the 86th time this year, I’m saying Yes to increased risk of diabetes and some other health problems. 

Freedom and sovereignty are crucial to overcoming overeating. We have to be able to say Yes in order to say No, or else we’re just caught in a cycle of rebellion and restriction. (Much like diets.)

But we also have to know, fully, what we’re saying Yes to, since every time we say Yes to something, we make it easier to say Yes to it the next time.

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW HABITS WORK.

So I want to ask am I saying Yes to normal eating, or Yes to disorderedeating? What am I building for myself here?