The whole point is ease.
I want to make ending compulsive eating and become a normal eater (or hey, normal-ish eater; also excellent) as easy as possible.
That's the goal of my upcoming workshop, Become a Normal Eater by Bedtime: To make out-of-control eating a thing of the past as quickly and easily as possible.
Some of you have had questions about the workshop. Here are the answers:
Q: When you say "normal," what do you mean, exactly?
A: Well, there's something a little weird about the very idea of normal, isn't there? Even though it's supposed to mean "opposite of weird." I mean:
- Not obsessing about food, weight and eating. Obsessiveness = weirdness, by definition.
- Eating enough (quantity and quality), to sustain life and health, aka not restricting yourself. Most of the time.
- Not eating too much, aka not indulging yourself. MOST of the time.
- Eating by choice, not from compulsion or habit.
As we've talked about many times before, a lot of us aren't doing that. But it's actually very doable, and anyone here can start today.
Normal eating for you might include mindfulness, vegetarianism, eating locally, and other things. But it needn't, and I'm only talking about the above. It's a happy middle way and it results in instant self-respect.
Q: Will your method help me lose weight? Because I've tried a lot of things.
A: I am sure you have! I have tried them all too. Here's what actually works if you want to lose weight: Eliminate the stuff your habit compels you to eat that's not contributing to your pleasure and your health. The extra weight has no choice but to come off. In the absence of tricky medical conditions, this is just fact.
How long will it take? No one can say. (If anyone says different, run away!) People vary, and permanent weight loss takes place over time. We can only control the inputs - not our body's response.
Q: Will this work if I’m a parent of small children and don’t have a lot of free time? I also have a pretty irregular schedule. What we're doing in this program - how easy or difficult will it be to pull off with my considerations?
A: Both the workshop itself and the actual method I teach are designed to be easy, and take up less time than you are now spending on eating and thinking about eating, food and weight. My aim is that you quickly find yourself with more time and headspace.
The format of the workshop, in contrast to the previous half-day seminars, consists of daily brief downloadable audios, which you can listen to at your convenience. Most of them won't be longer than five minutes. And there are one-page cheatsheets to go along with each daily audio, so you can review in your own preferred format.
The four live Q&A sessions will also be recorded, so no one has to miss anything on account of her schedule. (If you have questions and can't be on the call live, you can just email me. I will answer everything.)
I will also say: The way I eat now, the way I think about food altogether? I would have given my right arm to have had this way of eating when my kids were little. I would do anything to go back in time and wipe my own godawful eating disorder and shame and self-hatred from my kids' world. Don't worry; they are fine! But I still wish I had been more present for them, and I would have been without the constant dullness of my obsession.
Q: Just curious about the format you use for the Q&A sessions. A lot of people use Facebook for things like that, but I’m hoping to live this life without ever having a Facebook account. I know I sound like a total Luddite, and if that’s what you use hopefully we can find a workaround.
A: Uh, nope! You sound like a sane person. Here's the only workaround we need: No Facebook group. The truth is, many people are tired of them, and not only because of privacy concerns. Facebook discussion groups are often just more obligation. And we're trying to keep this easy. So we will not be adding that little complication.
We'll get together live via Zoom video (the video part is optional, if you prefer anonymity, and it's pretty convivial and fun.
Q: I'm pretty picky eater and mostly vegetarian. Will that be a problem?
A: Certainly not! Picky eating is not a requirement for normal eating, and it is also not a barrier. Same for vegetarians and near-vegetarians and dedicated carnivores. We're about dissolving the habit of overeating, bingeing, any kind of out-of-control eating that you don't want in your life. It's about eating by choice, rather than compulsion. There's no need to give up any particular kind of food, unless you decide you want to.
Q: I'm 50+ years old, and I'm about 40 pounds overweight, which is enough to be uncomfortable. A few years ago I lost 40 pounds with [a big commercial group] and I've gained it back since I stopped attending the meetings. Just got sick of them. With that program, it felt like I was hyper-focusing on all things food-related. It got old!
Your approach sounds very attractive. I just want to eat like a normal person, without obsessing over everything. That's my hope for this program.
A: That's exactly what we want: the end of obsession. It's the goal, and it's the journey. It's the point of our method. You know that phrase What we resist, persists? Whether we're dedicating our brain power to obsessing about food and how to get it or resisting food and how to get away from it - either way, that brain power is feeding the obsession and keeping it locked in place. A lot of the "work" we do - and honestly, it's barely work - is to dismantle the obsessive thinking quickly and easily so that the whole obsessive habit pattern just withers and dies of neglect <- GLOAT!
PS You didn't ask this but let me just say for anyone who's wondering: You can lose weight at any age.
Q: This looks awesome but I am getting your accountability emails (which are awesome), and I did your online day workshop. I’m assuming I have the tools, but I’m wondering if this class is going to provide me with the support? (Feel free to say Girl, just cut the crap and do the work.)
A: Yep, you do have the tools! Everyone reading my free weekly email has the tools, though not all in one place.
But guess what? SUPPORT IS A REALLY GOOD WAY TO CUT THROUGH CRAP.
The workshop will give you these things:
- So much support! Listen, we're here with upwards of 7,000,000,000 other humans. LET'S SUPPORT EACH OTHER WE'RE NOT MEANT TO STRUGGLE ALONE. Knowledge only gets you so far in a world that just wants you to lose weight fast and doesn't mind saying so, thousands of times a day, in some very unkind ways. I want to say Girl, LET'S GET YOU SOME REINFORCEMENTS!
- Essential reminders in the form of 14 audios, none of them longer than 15 minutes and most of them around 5. Omigosh, so much better than three hours worth!
- All the basics of the method in the form of one-page cheatsheets. Something for the listeners, and something for the readers.
- Four hours of live Q&A access <- these will be fun. Things come up as we go along! TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE LOW-COST CUSTOM HELP AND ATTENTION.
Class starts Friday.
Registration closes Thursday.
Signup and all the details are here.
Hope to see you there!
Image: Battle of the Pyramids, Dirk Langendijk, 1803, Rijksmuseum. Used with permission.
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