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  • The [traditional] end-of-the-year Viking funeral

    What's on your pyre?

    As you may know, I recently had a couple years of Burn it DownEverything Must Go and Kill it! Kill it a lot! So things are pretty cleared out around here. Just about the only thing on my end-of-the-year Viking funeral ship pyre of doom and good riddance is:

    Self-improvement. I am throwing that out in exchange for self-cultivation.

    This move is going to save me a lot of money, some of which I'll spend over at masterclass.com where Alice Waters and Thomas Keller teach some cooking skills I want to acquire. For fun, an essential ingredient of self-cultivation.

    (I’ve talked about the end of self-improvement before, obviously. What can I say? It's layers. Things I didn't used to consider as self-improvement whose disguises I now see through. 

    Also, I wrote about self-cultivation this month over on Mason-Dixon Knitting. The comments have tons of smart ideas.)

    So I would love to hear what's on your bonfire this year. Here's a place where you can tell me: https://goo.gl/forms/Nkx8PvdwrvGS241r1. I'll share the results (anonymously) in January.

    If you'd like suggestions, here are some things my clients are happy to get rid of:

    1. Dieting.

    My definition of dieting: not just eating less than you need to maintain your current weight, but eating even less than you need to maintain your ideal weight. Consistently not getting enough in the way of calories, by a wide margin. Unsustainable by design. Chances of failure, as in causes weight gain, not loss: 97%. Do you want to bet on being one of the 3%? My clients don't, because there's a better way.

    2. Unrestrained, boundary-free eating.

    I have my clients eat meals instead. It’s a time-tested healthy pattern. My definition of meals: Adequate but not unlimited amounts of food at predictable times, with intervals of NOT eating in between. Works miracles to stabilize hunger and mood swings. Thus, also good for maintaining civilization.

    3. Getting in touch with their hunger.

    Intuitive eaters, yogis, mindfulness teachers and other fashionable people have the wrong end of the stick. This is not easy, it's hard - and you can stay stuck here, gaining weight, for a long time. Instead, you can make some simple habit changes, and your hunger will get in touch with YOU. Effortlessly.

    4. Fake foods. 

    My definition of food: Single-ingredient edibles with nutrients and calories. Or combinations of single ingredients. If it's packaged, are the ingredients in Latin and Greek? Like, actual literal Greek-derived* words, as in SCIENCE? That’s not food, that’s a business model. You get sick, they get rich. (*Unless you’re in a Greek deli. Then, fine.)

    5. Clothes that don't fit. 

    Nothing causes weight loss faster than clothes that fit. Nothing keeps a sister stuck longer than hanging onto shit that’s too small. I can’t explain this, but trust me anyway. Whatever your budget, get something that works for your current body, ASAP. And just give away the rest. 

    6. Waiting one more minute to live as you wish. 

    There are some things that weight loss, if you want it, will provide. (Not gonna lie.) But magic it isn't. You’re still going to be a regular human, not Beyoncé. There are never not dishes to do, cars to wreck or friends who need you to edit their resume. So really: no point waiting. Whatever it is you think weight loss will give you, go get it for yourself now. 

    Okay, that's the week! It's also the YEAR. I'll be back in 2018. In the meantime, take good care of yourself and thank you for reading! May your coming year be GLORIOUS. 

    Respect! Adore!

    👊💃

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